Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
