we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
