Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize