i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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