im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
