i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
