Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You left your underwear on the fireplace
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
