We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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