Someone shit on the floor
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
