So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think a kid would responsible me up
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
