Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It's Friday. Sex?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize