Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize