he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize