Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
