After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
