and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
