i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
