It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
