whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize