at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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