How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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