So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
