Your dad touched me again.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
