he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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