Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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