Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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