Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize