Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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