I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize