I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm getting married
To pizza
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