At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
