you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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