Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
