Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
