HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
