Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
