You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
