Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
