420 ftw
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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