Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize