Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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