So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
