Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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