Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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