my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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