1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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