Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
