can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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