guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
