She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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