Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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