Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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