Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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