she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
