I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
