let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
