I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
